Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Why Jacob is so Much better than Edward

I mean really. I just don't get it.

Let me start by admitting (again) that I have read the Twilight books. I have written about my first impressions here, and I think I also wrote more about how much the gender dynamics of the books drive me crazy, but I'm not sure when I did that.

Anyway, a couple of nights ago, hubs and I watched New Moon. And I just need to say it: Jacob is hot, and Edward is not. I love vampire stories. I do. But in Twilight? I'm with the wolves. Here are some main reasons I like Jacob, and think Bella is nuts for choosing Edward:

  1. He is not only hot, but he is also warm (108 degrees, to be exact). Edward is cold as stone.
  2. He has beautiful muscles. Edward is a bit spindly.
  3. He is beautifully brown. Edward is extremely pasty (of course) and looks as if he's been rolled in flour.
  4. His heart beats. Edward's, well, doesn't.
  5. His kind protects humans. Edward's kind does not (even though Edward is an exception).
  6. He's got that American west vibe. Edward has a metrosexual European vibe (no offense to metrosexual Europeans).
  7. Most importantly? He has a sense of humor, and he and Bella actually hang out and do stuff together. Edward just seems intensely forelorn and moon-y (like Bella), and all he and Bella do is argue about who is more worthless and whether or not they can be together. Bella definitely needs to lighten up and have some fun, and Jacob is the guy for that.
The only reason I was able to make it through the fourth book is that the first half is told from Jacob's point of view.

I think Bella should have ditched Edward and gone to live with Jacob at La Push.

10 comments:

Ink said...

Great argument. I agree.

Still, Edward is so pretty...

Fie upon this quiet life! said...

Not to mention the fact that Edward, at 109 years old, is kind of nasty for falling for a 17-year-old. Creepy.

BUT - I hate to admit it - I still love Edward. I like Jacob and awful, awful lot. Eclipse is my favorite book because of the love triangle stuff in there. The 4th book is ridiculous. It would have been so much better if Bella killed some humans as a newborn, or if someone more significant died. Or if anything at all happened that caused some kind of real emotional difficulty. Meyer has no freaking clue about good conflict. She writes really great characters, but her plots SUCK. Hardly any continuity at all, and the conflict is, well, retarded. (And I almost never use that word, but it's the only one I can think of that describes the plot accurately. Yes, the plot has an IQ of less than 60. Seriously.)

Studentmum said...

I read the first book, but couldn't face any more and only saw the first film. My daughters share your opinion: it's Jacob for them. In the recent conference on Vampire fiction I went to the keynote paper was on Twilight: Edward & Bella's constant 'gaze' at her injured body and his shining body. It is this power inbalance that jars with me, as you mentioned in your first thoughts about the book. My daughters have moved on from Meyer now to 'Vampire Diaries' & 'The House of Night' books, which may or may not be a better thing!

courtney said...

I also read the Twilight series (how could I relate to my students if not?), and though I think Meyers writes a good plot (and one quite different from traditional vampire narratives), I do think her actual writing is terrible. Wait, now that I think about it, her plot kind of sucks too (LOVED waiting to see what would happen to Edward when he was in sunlight, only to find out in one short sentence! Ever heard of a plot arc, Meyers? me thinks not!).Anyways, while my daughter is on Team Jacob, I still love Edward. But then again, my past choices in men have often mirrored him: pasty, thin, effeminate, boring. Need I continue?

English Adjunct said...

After reading the fifth or so paper on Twilight, I too read the series to better understand what the hell my students are talking about. I agree with you-Jacob all the way. After hearing everyone from young girls to middle age women declare their love for Edward, I expected an amazing charismatic character, but Edward is just so flat. He is devoted and I think that is why some younger women and girls might fall for him.

I have to agree with Fie about Meyer writing awful plots. My husband read the series too, and whenever a new Twilight movie comes out we have the same conversation: "Is that the one where they almost fight and nothing happens?" "Is that they one where those other vampires come to get Bella and then nothing happens?"

Good Enough Woman said...

Ink, And he does quote Shakespeare, but still . . .

Fie, I totally agree about Book IV. How can you have a true face-off where nothing really happens? Oh, and it's just so *convenient* that it's so *easy* for Bella to be around humans. I felt like Meyer totally cheated on plot with that.

Studentmum, Oh I am still so jealous about that conference. And the "gaze" reading is very apt. Grrr.

Courtney, Maybe you need some Jacob in your life, no? Also, I think Meyer gets some aspects of plot--otherwise I couldn't have read them all. But her plot just gets so REDUNDANT. It took me about a year to really dig into the fourth one. I felt resentful that I had to read so many frickin' pages in order to find out if Bella ever really developed a sense of self.

EA, Hahahahaha! I love your plot summary. So true. Especially at the end of Book Four.

The Thirty-Something Bride said...

Dude. Edward SPARKLES. Jacob turns into a stinky dog.

Nuff said.

Word Verification: banter
:)

loveskidlit said...

I finished indexing my book, and then sat in my office and read my way through the series, in flip flops, spring 2009. I really enjoyed the read(with the strong exception of the bizarre last book), probably because I had finished indexing my book! I then tried to read her non-vampire novel, which had its moments. Sorry, though GEW, I'm an Edward fan!

SoccerMom said...

Im with you I love Jacob.
Who doesnt love a HOT man.

Another Poor Student said...

I am all for Jacob.
It's so strange that your list looks near identical to my list that I spout off to any young girl who will listen.