Friday, February 5, 2010

Dear Left Eyeball

I realize that you are getting older. So is the rest of the package in which you are contained. But, really, I am especially fond of my vision. If my ass sags or my arms jiggle, well, I can deal with that. My husband doesn't really like it, but, me, I can live with it.

But you, I really care about you, and I appreciate all you've done for me in the past. But now you've presented me with this huge floater--which sometimes appears like a black spot (with an attached cobweb) and which sometimes is a big blurry spot in the center of my eye (like now, when I'm looking at the backlit computer screen). Yes, I do plan to take you to the doctor since I want to make sure that your retina hasn't detached or torn. But, in the meantime, if you're just an average aging eyeball, can you please settle down? Let that vitriolic fluid (or whatever it's called) settle down? Let the little bits of debris settle along your floor like confetti after a party?

And while you're at it, could you have a meeting with the right eyeball and agree to stop all of this redness and watering and general mischief that makes it very difficult for me to read tiny anthology print each evening? Please remember that reading is key to my livelihood, happiness, and overall sanity.

Thank you for your consideration.

GEW (your human host)


Anonymous said...

Your left eyeball sounds like my right eyeball - it's had that for ages and the optitician says it's just the ageing process of a very shortsighted eye - at least she didn't say it was a menapausal eye!

TKW said...

I love that you wrote your eyeball a letter. Only you.

Anonymous said...

Dang, I hate it when my eyes act up (which is all the time!)maybe I should write them a letter or beat them into submission!

Ink said...

I hope that you're ok! Please do go to the doctor.

(Coincidentally, we had a detached retina scare in our house today. Husband was told he had one. Then the specialist said he didn't. So now we're going in for more tests. But the timing...uncanny.)

Again, I hope that everything is only temporarily problematic over there. *hugs*

Contemporary Troubadour said...

What is with eye problems this week, GEW and Ink?!? I had something tickling (and eventually hurting) the hell out of my left eye after my ophthalmologist did her yearly thing on Wednesday (dilation, retinal exam). Somewhere between then and Friday, I pulled a ONE-INCH HAIR out from the outer corner where it had worked its way around behind the eyeball.

So whatever your eye person does, don't let him/her get hairs into your eye, okay? :P

Good Enough Woman said...

SM, I hope our left and right eyeballs don't get together! Quite a dysfunctional pair they'd make.

TKW, My husband says I should have written my eyes an apology for all of the reading they've had to do.

Suzicate, or, as my hubby suggests, an apology!

Ink, Oh my. I hope DH's eyes are okay. Keep me posted. I'm headed in on Wednesday for an exam.

CT, That sounds VERY uncomfortable.

Anonymous said...
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Dr. No said...

Tell that stupid leaky eyeball to shape up or face the eyepatch! ARGH!

(but I hope it's better now)