The Girl (and Boy) on God: Easter Edition (Warning: This Post Contains Heresy)

So in the car this morning, the kids and I were discussing movie night (Friday nights are movie nights, during which we eat take out pizza and watch a movie). I let them know that if the mail came today, we'd be able to watch Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakwell, but that the mail might not come since it's Good Friday. Of course, the Boy asked about Good Friday (because neither he nor the Girl have a Sunday School education), and after I gave the shortest version ever of Good Friday and Easter, which included Jesus's death and rebirth, the Girl launched into this, with two cents from the Boy. I just made basic listening noises, interspersed with some chuckles and brief comments about more coventional doctrines.

Girl:

I think when you die, you're reborn.
Then you go to Heaven to be happy with God, and you get to play ball with God and things like that.
I think Earth is Her favorite bouncy ball!
No, Her favorite spinning ball.
We are her favorite Globe.

Boy:

Yeah, she has globes of each planet. And the moons.
And she has paper sheets with stars in between them.
And that's the solar system.

Girl:

I think God used to be a person.
She cared so much about people that they made her into God.
And I think when you die, Jesus becomes your brother.
I think Jesus is a Boy and God is a girl.
And I think they used to be married.


At this point, we had to stop the car because two old labradors were in the road. We got distracted by the cute dogs, and did not get back to God. Just as well, since she was really starting to tread on some tricky theological ground.